The Open Ayr

Today (Saturday) we played at the opening of the new play erm.. thing at Ayr Field in St Ives in which we played our set and some others and Isaac did some dancing with a, er, borrowed double bass. It was quite good actually.

Gig at the School of the Crazed Audience

Luckily nobody was killed. We played last in the concert in front of an increasing bloodthirsty crowd who were on the verge of ripping someone apart when we took more than a few seconds to set up. Erm.. yes, it was quite disturbing, but they were friendly enough.

Battle of the Bandals

We played at a Battle of the Bands night on Saturday at which there was a gremlin and 3 unintentional splee. We claimed victory and won a great prize of £25 to spend in Terry's Biscuits of Bile & make an appearance on Terry's Rabid Radio (23-340 FM). We also will get to play at some festivals and can also claim for some clams and several submersible hats. YAY!!

Smallpox Hunt

We have recorded yet another load of filth called Foxhunt. You can listen to it under mysterious circumstances somewhere on the internet.

The Band's Exciting & Smelly Biog

Read this, it's good I swear:

Elliot's Story

Elliot was the child of a bow tie collector who has been to the orient and further in his quest for the humble tie. Unfortunately, Elliot didn't share his father's passion for bowiness, he didn't follow his mother's lead (an unerring interest in mortar) either, preferring the culinary opportunity of breadsticks. He took this market to Scotland under the secret name of Brillington Spinsford and had a terrific success! The Scottish Breadstick is now a mainstay at the Scottish Death Sacrifices in That Place Doon There.

Fred's Story

After being born 600 years ago to a famous cheese engineer and a suspiciously upside-down man, Fred has been successful in a rather unsuccessful way. First, in 1468, he set up a business selling old ulcers for a small price, but the business didn't do well and became bankrupt within minutes. Fred then waited a short while (until 1867), then he built a cold-air balloon and sailed around Battersea Power Station 20 times while being followed by a 3 ton bird and a mad gentleman shouting 'MY SHEETS, MY SHEETS'. A new world record was set and many a Victorian man attempted the circumnavigation but failed due Fred's ownership of a large nail gun (the largest in the Empire). No-one knows where he is now, he is probably dead after a failed expedition to Straight Up.

Dani's Story

Dani wasn't born, in fact he just was. He studied chimneys for several years before leaving the country to try to prove that the Earth was the shape of a chest. He failed, but decided to post a treatise to the Royal Society on why the Earth should be like a chest in shape. He then gave up his scientific vocation to go and live with a colony of small and overexcited bears in the Sahara desert. He returned to England in 1945 and did a strange dance. During this dance he decided that he would join the 'Magical Shmee Club'; an exclusive club that supported people who were never born (but just were). To join, Dani had to travel deep into the Himalayas (hitching a lift with a disturbing character in a cold-air balloon). Luckily, Dani was accepted into the club and he is now there in a great happiness.

Josh's Story

Josh was born on the Moon and travelled to Earth in a massive spaceship made of pieces of cheese and buttery trousers. Once on Earth he was abducted and held hostage by a green man with an interest in fake noses and gravy. Josh escaped almost immediately and it took a year for the man to realise that he was gone. Meanwhile, Josh had arrived in Scotland and sampled the brilliant breadsticks that they had there. He was so pleased by the taste that he vowed to find the maker. He found the maker (Brillington Spinsford) and congratulated him. He is still congratulating to this day.

Isaac's Story

In 1922 a 30 foot tall man met a midget and they had one child. He was called Guiwoiauhraweliufhwiaeufh, but he soon changed his name to Isaac. Isaac was to become the greatest scientist of all time. He garnered inspiration from a chance meeting with a scientist in the Sahara (with some overexcited bears) and went on to study with a distinguished cook who was responsible for the famous Scottish Breadstick. After this, he built a spaceship under the direction of a person from the Moon. In this spaceship he headed into deep space and landed on a habited planet called Watkin. On Watkin everyone was clones of Isaac. Isaac found this disturbing and left quickly only to crash into the Himalayas (narrowly missing a mystery building). He is in hospital now, you can visit him if you must.

Recording Photos

As I said before, we have recorded 3 songs this week. Below are some photos that I took away with me.

123 New Songs

Over the past 3 milllion years we recorded some songs. These songs were Freakshow, 123 & 8 Bit Video Romance which is being recorded in 4 parts, each divided into 2 sections (making 8 bits). Below is the new cover which promotes smelliness.

Giggedy

We have a gig somewhere on 8th Feb. Hope that helps. There was a slightly confusing set of preparation practices and there was also a large small pillow.

Obituary

The drummer who is called Max is no more. He isn't dead, but anyway.

Early Life
Max was born to a poor family in 1960's Bath. He was bullied at school for having only 3 noses and 6 toes.

University
Max went to University in Nigeria and graduated with a degree in fagging. He then returned home to find that his house had been stolen and his dog abducted.

Later Life
Max then went into space and stayed there for 3 minutes. It was then that he had an idea.

New Bass Person To Play The Bass.

He's called Watkins, Isaac Watkins. There is a disturbing picture of him on the MySpace thing. Due to his emergence from the primordial ooze, suddenly everything sounds better. That has to be good, eh?