Elliot's StoryElliot was the child of a bow tie collector who has been to the orient and further in his quest for the humble tie. Unfortunately, Elliot didn't share his father's passion for bowiness, he didn't follow his mother's lead (an unerring interest in mortar) either, preferring the culinary opportunity of breadsticks. He took this market to Scotland under the secret name of Brillington Spinsford and had a terrific success! The Scottish Breadstick is now a mainstay at the Scottish Death Sacrifices in That Place Doon There.
Fred's StoryAfter being born 600 years ago to a famous cheese engineer and a suspiciously upside-down man, Fred has been successful in a rather unsuccessful way. First, in 1468, he set up a business selling old ulcers for a small price, but the business didn't do well and became bankrupt within minutes. Fred then waited a short while (until 1867), then he built a cold-air balloon and sailed around Battersea Power Station 20 times while being followed by a 3 ton bird and a mad gentleman shouting 'MY SHEETS, MY SHEETS'. A new world record was set and many a Victorian man attempted the circumnavigation but failed due Fred's ownership of a large nail gun (the largest in the Empire). No-one knows where he is now, he is probably dead after a failed expedition to Straight Up.
Dani's StoryDani wasn't born, in fact he just was. He studied chimneys for several years before leaving the country to try to prove that the Earth was the shape of a chest. He failed, but decided to post a treatise to the Royal Society on why the Earth should be like a chest in shape. He then gave up his scientific vocation to go and live with a colony of small and overexcited bears in the Sahara desert. He returned to England in 1945 and did a strange dance. During this dance he decided that he would join the 'Magical Shmee Club'; an exclusive club that supported people who were never born (but just were). To join, Dani had to travel deep into the Himalayas (hitching a lift with a disturbing character in a cold-air balloon). Luckily, Dani was accepted into the club and he is now there in a great happiness.
Josh's StoryJosh was born on the Moon and travelled to Earth in a massive spaceship made of pieces of cheese and buttery trousers. Once on Earth he was abducted and held hostage by a green man with an interest in fake noses and gravy. Josh escaped almost immediately and it took a year for the man to realise that he was gone. Meanwhile, Josh had arrived in Scotland and sampled the brilliant breadsticks that they had there. He was so pleased by the taste that he vowed to find the maker. He found the maker (Brillington Spinsford) and congratulated him. He is still congratulating to this day.
Isaac's StoryIn 1922 a 30 foot tall man met a midget and they had one child. He was called Guiwoiauhraweliufhwiaeufh, but he soon changed his name to Isaac. Isaac was to become the greatest scientist of all time. He garnered inspiration from a chance meeting with a scientist in the Sahara (with some overexcited bears) and went on to study with a distinguished cook who was responsible for the famous Scottish Breadstick. After this, he built a spaceship under the direction of a person from the Moon. In this spaceship he headed into deep space and landed on a habited planet called Watkin. On Watkin everyone was clones of Isaac. Isaac found this disturbing and left quickly only to crash into the Himalayas (narrowly missing a mystery building). He is in hospital now, you can visit him if you must.
